Once upon a time, there was a young woman named Maya who lived in a city in India. She was a successful and ambitious lawyer, but she had one problem: she always compared herself with others. She compared her looks, her skills, her achievements, and her status with those of her colleagues, friends, and rivals. She felt either insecure or arrogant, depending on the situation. She was never content with herself, and she always felt stressed and unhappy.
One day, she decided to seek the advice of her mentor, Mr. Kumar, who was one of the senior partners of the law firm. She approached him respectfully and said, “Sir, I have a question for you. How can I stop comparing myself with others? I always feel either inferior or superior to them, and I cannot find peace in my mind.”
Mr. Kumar smiled and said, “Maya, you have asked a very important question. Comparing yourself with others is a source of much suffering and confusion. It prevents you from seeing yourself and others as they really are, and it hinders your personal and professional growth. I have learned a way to overcome this habit from an ancient wisdom tradition. Do you want to learn it?”
Maya nodded eagerly and said, “Yes, sir, please teach me.”
Mr. Kumar said, “The way to stop comparing yourself with others is to practice the four positive attitudes: kindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity. These are the qualities that I have cultivated in myself and taught you to develop as well. They are the antidotes to insecurity, arrogance, jealousy, and resentment. They are the sources of happiness, harmony, and wisdom. They are the foundations of success.”
Maya listened attentively and asked, “How can I practice these four positive attitudes?”
Mr. Kumar said, “You can practice them by using these four affirmations as your daily mantras:
- I am happy and free from suffering.
- All beings are happy and free from suffering.
- I celebrate the happiness and success of others.
- I accept myself and others as they are, without attachment or aversion.
You can repeat these affirmations silently in your mind, while focusing on your breath. You can start by directing them towards yourself, then towards someone you love, then towards someone you are neutral towards, then towards someone you dislike, and finally towards all beings in the world. You can do this for as long as you wish, or until your mind becomes calm and clear.”
Maya thanked Mr. Kumar for his guidance and said, “I will try to practice this meditation every day.”
Mr. Kumar said, “Very good, Maya. I wish you all the best in your practice. Remember that the only person you need to compare yourself with is yourself yesterday. If you have improved in any way today, then you have succeeded. If not, then you have an opportunity to learn from your mistakes and try again tomorrow. Do not worry about what others think of you or what they do. Focus on your own path and your own goal: the excellence in your work.”
Maya bowed to Mr. Kumar and left him with a sense of gratitude and inspiration.
She followed his advice and practiced the four positive attitudes every day. Gradually, she noticed a change in her attitude and behavior. She became more kind and compassionate towards herself and others. She became more joyful and appreciative of the good qualities and achievements of others. She became more balanced and peaceful in her mind, regardless of the changing circumstances.
She realized that she had stopped comparing herself with others, and that she had found a true happiness that did not depend on anything external.
She had become a true leader.
